


Mastering the Art of Stealth

by Melodycard



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 04:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8474614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melodycard/pseuds/Melodycard
Summary: How everybody found out that Aomine and Kagami were official before even Aomine and Kagami knew they were official.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t remember exactly what I was thinking at the time I wrote this. I think I wanted to try capturing one of main qualities of this ship which made me grow so fond of it, and it somehow ended up like this. :’D

Valentine’s Day was one of Murasakibara’s favorite holidays. Though, that fact had very little to do with the romance part, and everything to do with all the sweets and plummeting chocolate prices associated with the occasion.

The holiday was essentially a paradise for sweets lovers, and as a sweets lover himself, Murasakibara was no exception to that rule. Sugar attracted him in the same way that flames attracted moths. So, it wasn’t odd that, a few days before February 14th, the Yosen player was found heading on down to one of the biggest chocolate sales of the year.

However, while it would be unsurprising to see Murasakibara stocking up on Valentine’s Day chocolates before Valentine’s Day, it would be absolutely surprising if a certain Aomine Daiki were to be spotted doing the same.

Murasakibara was not one to poke his nose into other people’s businesses. He had little interest in matters that didn’t directly concern him. However, the sight of Aomine contemplating hard over two large boxes of chocolates would honestly cause anybody to pause and raise an eyebrow in alarm. Because first—Aomine was not a big fan of chocolate. And second, he was an even smaller fan of romantic gestures. Aomine just didn’t do romance. Period.

“Mine-chin.”

Murasakibara’s greeting appeared to have startled Aomine out of his reverie, and the Touou ace looked up, clearly caught off guard. “Murasakibara,” he said, voice a mix of surprise and vigilance.

“I didn’t know Mine-chin celebrated Valentine’s Day.”

A scowl immediately descended upon Aomine’s face. “I don’t.” In response, Murasakibara eyed the boxes of chocolates in Aomine’s hands, which seemed to prove otherwise. Aomine caught the direction of Murasakibara’s gaze, and quickly pushed one of the boxes back onto the shelves. “This isn’t for me,” he said. “I owe somebody a favor so I’m getting them these to settle the deal.”

Murasakibara cocked his head to one side in curiosity. “Favor?”

“Yeah. Ever heard of obligatory chocolate?”

“Mine-chin, that’s an awful lot for obligatory chocolate.”

And it was. The box was huge, even according to Murasakibara’s standards. As a rule of thumb, anything that was too big for Murasakibara should surely be considered too big for the rest of the human species in general.

“Well, you try telling that to someone who has a bottomless pit for a stomach,” said Aomine.

Murasakibara frowned. “But even so, why basketball shaped chocolates?” he asked, looking at the box. If it had been for Aomine himself, Murasakibara might have understood—after all, the Touou ace’s life revolved around the sport. But for somebody else?

“He plays basketball.”

The Yosen player continued to stare at his former teammate, no less puzzled than he was a few minutes ago. ‘He?’

“Well, I’ve got to get going,” said Aomine, tucking the box under an arm. “See you at the tournaments in a few weeks.”

As Aomine walked off, Murasakibara furrowed his brow.

Somebody with a bottomless stomach, plays basketball, and knew Aomine? That description rang a very, very strong bell, but Murasakibara just couldn’t bring to mind whom.

After a minute of deliberating, he shrugged.

Maybe he’d ask Himuro later. Himuro was always talking about a basketball player who ate far too much. The name of said player was currently failing Murasakibara, though.

 

* * *

 

When it comes to inviting guests over for a reunion gathering at your home, you might have a few concerns.

You might be concerned that said guests will roam into places they’re strictly forbidden to.

You might be concerned that they’ll go around abusing your furniture or personal belongings without abandon.

You might be concerned that they’ll feel as though they somehow have the right to conduct any activities they please—however unbecoming—within the confines of your home, despite knowing that they are clearly under somebody else’s roof and therefore under somebody else’s rules.

Dealing with just one of the above concerns would probably ruin any good person’s day, never mind dealing with all three.

So, you could probably imagine the displeasure of one Akashi Seijuurou, when he walked in on none other than Aomine Daiki and Kagami Taiga rolling around in his bedroom upstairs, with their hands shoved up each other’s shirts.

Now, Akashi didn’t consider himself to be overly unreasonable when it came to his ex-teammates. Sure, he could be strict towards the group at times (that came with being heir to the Akashi estate) and yes, there were instances where he might have taken his ‘absoluteness’ a bit too far.

However, with the passage of time, Akashi had since learned to be more tolerant towards the MiraGen’s antics. For one, he could overlook Murasakibara’s unhealthy obsession with sweets and his habit of making every hour of the day snacking hour. He could deal with the melodramatic outbursts that Kise had a tendency to launch into from time to time at the most inopportune moments. He could also turn a blind eye to Midorima’s ridiculous fascination with horoscopes and lucky items. And, if a former teammate of his should decide to pursue a relationship and all the risqué activities that went with it…well, to each his own. Akashi could care less.

But, to have said activities taking place in Akashi’s own home—on his own bed?

That was a big, absolute no-no.

In revulsion, Akashi did the first thing which sprung to mind—he quickly pulled out his trusty pair of scissors (the same pair he’d never really gotten around to returning to Midorima) and chucked it right at the frolicking couple. The scissors nicked Kagami’s cheek as intended, prompting him and Aomine to jolt away from one another like a pair of frightened mice.

They both angled wide eyes up at Akashi, measly brains frantically scrambling for a plausible excuse.

“Y-you’ve got it all wrong!” Kagami began to exclaim, struggling to straighten out his shirt. “T-This…we were just wrestling!”

Aomine grunted, trying to crawl his way off the bed, but failing. “Yeah, you heard him,” he agreed. “Wrestling!”

As a pathetic attempt to prove their points, Aomine and Kagami exchanged a series of faked grappling moves that wouldn’t even convince an infant.

Needless to say, Akashi was unimpressed. “Well. You can take your _wrestling_ ” –He looked from Aomine to Kagami in disgust —“out and far away from any proximity of my house. Such behavior will _not_ be tolerated here and I suggest you get moving immediately before I start demanding compensation from both of you for defiling my personal property.”

The two boys mumbled awkwardly under their breaths, faces red while scrambling to leave the room.

Akashi crossed his arms. “And Daiki, please fix those trousers of yours. They’re going to fall off any second.”

Needless to say, no more wrestling occurred at the Akashi household ever again.

 

* * *

 

Contrary to the kind of vibes his personality might give off, Kise Ryouta wasn’t an airhead.

Certainly, he wasn’t an airhead when it came to ship spotting.

Then again, the Aomine/Kagami ship was sailing in ridiculously plain sight the night Kise waltzed into the convenience store to find those two loitering around the condoms section together. The dots had instantly connected in Kise’s head, and it was excitement abound as he called out to them in mischievous glee: “Why, if it isn’t Kagamicchi and Aominecchi!”

Kise almost laughed out loud at the scandalized expressions on their faces when they turned around. They both instantly went as pale as sheets.

What ensued next was probably the most hilarious attempt at a cover up that Kise had ever encountered.

“Are you two doing what I think you’re doing?” the blond chirped.

Aomine tried to discreetly shove a bottle of lubricant behind his back, but Kise easily caught the movement. “Uh, shopping? Obviously?”

“For condoms and lube?” Kise grinned from ear to ear, placing his hands on his waist. “At—“ he glanced down at his watch. “—10:00PM?”

Aomine’s expression quickly transitioned from one of initial surprise to one of defense. “Yeah, so? Can’t a guy do that?”

Meanwhile, Kagami was still opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water.

“But with another guy?” Kise asked this in fake innocence.

“Yeah.”

“Together?”

“…Yeah?”

“This late at night?”

“What’s wrong with shopping late? Friends do that all the time, don’t they?”

“Wait, you two are friends now?”

“Wha—no! I meant as an example!”

It was like watching a scroll of lies unravel before his very eyes and Kise felt very much like an insistent reporter grilling two famous celebrities for dirt. Half of him felt bad about it, as Kise knew firsthand what it felt like to be grilled by persistent reporters—he was a model, after all. However, the other half was having way too much fun to be sorry.

“Anyways, we just happened to have run into each other at this store—in the same aisle—in the same section—about to buy the same things—at the same time—” If only Aomine knew how ridiculous that excuse sounded, but it seemed he wasn’t aware of that at all as he continued to ramble away. “…as you can clearly see, Kise, it’s all a coincidence.”

Kise pretended to consider Aomine’s mess of an explanation as he moved his gaze from one boy to another. Kagami’s face was getting redder and redder by the second while Aomine’s jaw kept growing infinitely tighter. “Hmm…” the blond said slowly. It was a full awkward minute of silence before he eventually relaxed, shoulders sagging in fake defeat. “Okay, that makes sense! Well, I’ll need to be attending to my own business now! Good night!” With a laugh, the blond pranced away, not missing how Aomine and Kagami deflated in sheer relief and made a not-so-subtle dash for the exit the minute they thought they were out of his eyesight.

 _Well, did I land the jackpot just now or what?_   Kise thought, his need to spread this newfound discovery threatening to burst. Gossip was in his blood, after all. Whisking out his phone, he speed-dialed the first number to come to his mind.

“Hey, Kurokocchii? Guess what I just saw!”

 

* * *

 

It wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to say that Midorima Shintarou was probably the biggest astrology fanatic there was.

For anyone who knew him, it was common knowledge that he took astrology readings very, very seriously—perhaps even a bit too much. He breathed them like people breathed air, and to his credit, Midorima wouldn’t deny that for a second.

People could say all they want to Midorima about how the stars do not give any indication as to one’s fate or how ridiculous his obsession with horoscopes is. And he could listen to Miyaji threatening to break his lucky items on a weekly basis and put up with Takao making constant jokes about his ever-growing collection.

But as far as Midorima was concerned, his behavior was perfectly justified.

The stars were never supposed to be wrong.

They weren’t supposed to be wrong…until they eventually were wrong, that was.

For the life of him, he could not imagine how a union between Aomine and Kagami could have possibly occurred. Kagami was a Leo. Aomine was a Virgo. According to the positions and movements of the celestial bodies, those two were supposed to be irreconcilable!

But yet there they were. Together.

He’d always remember the exact day he found out, because it was also the exact day Oha Asa said that the lucky item for a Virgo would be a person born under the Leo star sign. It had been such an odd horoscope reading that Midorima couldn’t help but feel that something must be off.

And indeed, some hours later, the worrisome feeling in his gut was validated when he was forced to observe Aomine and Kagami caught in the most passionate of lip-locks—in broad daylight.

It had been pure coincidence that the Shuutoku ace was strolling by that specific basketball court during the afternoon, just in time to bear witness to the event. At first, Midorima had just stood there frozen, wondering if it was about time he got a new pair of glasses. But when it became clear that his glasses were perfectly fine, it finally dawned on him that what he was seeing indeed reflected what was actually happening.

With reality fully settling in, Midorima had shuddered, and tried with all his might to dispel the scarring imagery that was Aomine and Kagami swapping saliva from the depths of his mind.

 _How can this be?_   He’d lamented as he stumbled away from the perplexing and scandalizing scene in dismay. Had his life’s devotion to the stars been for naught? _Their signs are not even compatible! This goes against the laws of the cosmos!_

 

* * *

 

Out of everybody, Kuroko had it worst.

Or best, depending on whether or not one enjoyed the practice of auditory voyeurism.

At first, he’d been somewhat skeptical of the phone call he’d received from Kise a while back, as well as the Aomine-Kagami rumors that have been circulating around the MiraGen sans Aomine. It seemed like every other week, some new ‘evidence’ would pop up from a fellow MiraGen member in support of the secretive relationship those two apparently had going on.

Kuroko had initially thought it might all just have been a huge misunderstanding or a rumor gone wild. However, after finally having a close encounter with the sources of the rumors himself, he now had to agree that the facts were undeniable.

It all happened at the good old burger joint.

While working on some homework at Maji Burger one evening, Kuroko made the mistake of having one vanilla shake too many. Which was rare, to say the least. Kuroko pretty much had a bottomless bladder for shakes in the same way that Kagami had a bottomless stomach for burgers. Technically, no amount of vanilla shake should be considered too much when it came to Kuroko Tetsuya.

Nonetheless, that day, Kuroko had to temporarily abandon his table for a restroom break.

Realistically, this break shouldn’t have taken more than ten minutes.

It was now forty minutes, and Kuroko was nowhere near ready to return back to his dining table.

The ones to blame were none other than Aomine and Kagami. They’d raided the bathroom shortly after Kuroko had entered himself, bolted the door, and then proceeded to use the place for an entirely different purpose than it was intended. Kuroko hadn’t planned on eavesdropping, but with all the gossip flying around, he couldn’t help but wish to get to the bottom of this once and for all.

So, he’d dashed into the nearest stall and temporarily assumed the role of spy.

At first, there were just sounds of casual conversation coming from his lights. Talks about basketball, the tournaments, who was going to be beating whom, and the like. But all too soon, the conversation took a drastically different turn and eventually evolved into what was unmistakably an impromptu make-out session.

And it wasn’t one of those ‘quickies’ that you’d normally expect couples to sneak in while on restroom breaks either. This one was of the full-blown, all-hands-on-deck, bring-out-all-the-kinks variety—something that really should have been saved for when a bedroom was available.

Another ten minutes later, Kuroko was still locked up in his stall, perched uncomfortably on top of a toilet seat while listening to those two going at it.

 _Are they not concerned about staff walking by?_   Kuroko thought, staring blankly at the tiled floor. _And just how much stamina do they have?_

It sufficed to say that the phantom player walked away that night having learned quite an interesting array of information regarding his lights. Apparently, Kagami had a huge fetish for being bitten, and Aomine an obsession for hearing his partner blurting out nonsensical words in English.

Obviously, these were things that friends definitely do not need to know about their friends, but what was an invisible phantom man to do?

The following day, Kagami came to school in his winter uniform with the jacket buttoned all the way up to his neck. Since it was the middle of summer, the sight understandably caused confusion amongst the entire class. Kuroko knew better, though. He had no doubt that the attire was chosen for no other reason than to hide the aftermath of the epic biting session that had gone on last night.

“I uh…I’m sick, and I have the chills,” Kagami quickly said, when Kuroko gave him the raised eyebrow. “I caught the flu yesterday, you see.”

 _More like the Aomine-kuns_ , Kuroko thought. He was tempted to say that out loud, but the sympathizing half of him thought better of it for Kagami’s sake.

 

* * *

 

It was exactly seven months and three days now since Aomine and Kagami had embarked on their maybe-but-maybe-not relationship. Seven months and three days of sneaking around, lying to their friends, and trying to move beyond the controversial status of ‘enemies with benefits’ while attempting to figure out what exactly was going on between them.

But now, after over a half a year of bumpy rides and several bouts of teenage drama, there was finally some semblance of a resolution to their ongoing conundrum. With several months of frustration now under their belts, there was at last a solid recognition that the maybe-relationship has officially evolved into an actual relationship and that perhaps they had been dating all along.

“So,” Kagami began, taking a bite out of his giant-sized meal—steak, tempura, udon, and octopus balls amongst other things. Today, the two of them were having one of their rare dining sessions at a considerably high-end restaurant. It was not often that they’d eat at a quality place such as this, considering Kagami’s outrageous appetite. However, since the redhead had promised that he would be the one paying today, Aomine wasn’t going to refuse a free lunch. “Now that we’re—” Kagami cringed instinctively, still not used to talking about the nature of their relationship in this way— “officially official, what happens next?”

Aomine poked at his karaage. “Beats me.” He cut a piece from his plate and brought it to his mouth. “Now that I think about it, it doesn’t really change anything, does it?”

Kagami seemed thoughtful as he slurped the udon in his bowl. “You have a point.”

“Also, it’s not as though we need to be spreading the news to the whole world or anything. This is just a form of personal closure, if you ask me.”

“So what I’m getting from you is that we go on doing what we’ve always been doing,” Kagami stated more than asked.

Aomine shrugged. “Looks like it. Unless you want to start telling people that we’re dating.”

Kagami choked. “Of course not! Do you know what would happen if word were to get out?” The mere thought of it was enough to make Kagami shudder. There would be an outrage. Jaws would be dropping through the floor. Chaos would ensue. He and Aomine would be teased into oblivion.

Aomine munched on his karaage as he pondered Kagami’s concerns. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he agreed between bites. “I don’t think I’m mentally prepared to publicize that I’m going out with the king of all idiots. I mean, imagine what that would do to my reputation.”

At that, a vein instantly sprouted from Kagami’s temple and he slammed his chopsticks down. “Hey! If we’re going to be talking about ruined reputations, we should be talking about mine! I’m the one who stands to lose the most here!”

Aomine laughed. “You? Please. All you’re known for around here is being Sir Jumps-A-Lot on the court. There’s really nothing worth saving on your end.”

If one were to observe their table, one might note that between the two boys, only Aomine looked like the sensible, normal diner trying to respectfully clear his plate in a noble manner. Kagami, on the other hand, resembled nothing less than an oversized chipmunk stuffing his mouth left and right—all around setting a perfect example of how not to eat at a fine dining establishment.

Once their food was fully consumed, the waiter was called over to present the bill. As was predicted, the charge was impossibly enormous.

Aomine often wondered how the redhead was able to afford such an expensive lifestyle. But then he remembered that Kagami’s father was supposed to be a highly successful businessman. And with that, Aomine was forced to acknowledge that despite Kagami’s undignified and bad-mannered self, he was in fact a part of the rich kids' club.

They were getting up to leave when Aomine decided to voice his proposal for the rest of the day. “So…your place or mine?” he asked casually, not even trying to be subtle about what he wanted.

Kagami could feel the blood rushing to his face in spite of himself. “W-We’re not going to be doing that…that thing with the multiple positions again, right? Like we did last week? I have practice tomorrow.”

Aomine shrugged. “Why not? If you end up sore and having to walk funny, you could always tell them that you sprained your ankle. Seirin has a history of leg injuries anyway, right? Shouldn’t be that hard for them to buy.”

The process of thinking up excuses never got old. It had been quite the daunting task coming up with them when they’d first started sneaking around, but over the past few months, they had both arguably gotten much better at it. The lies were coming out faster now, and they were coming out on the fly. And best of all, their friends were eating them all up without hesitation.

How impressive was that?

If one were to ask Kagami, he and Aomine had done quite the amazing job keeping their relationship under wraps. As far as he could tell, nobody suspected a thing. He and Aomine might as well give themselves a pat on the back for mastering the art of stealth.

 

* * *

 

Unbeknownst to Kagami and Aomine, a group with colorful heads had been sitting in the restaurant booth right behind them. Due to the rather tall partitions dividing each booth, the power-forwards had been oblivious as to who had been occupying the table situated directly after their own.

Indeed, this was a high end restaurant and quite an expensive one at that. But Kagami wasn’t the only basketball-playing redhead who belonged in the rich kids' club.

Needless to say, the two aces’ entire conversation had been broadcasted to their unintentional audience in the clearest and most blatant way possible. The group watched as Aomine slung an arm around a flustered Kagami’s shoulders, leading the two of them out of the building.

“Okay, so do they deserve most-obvious-couple-of-the-year award or what?” asked Kise. “But wow, I did not expect to run into them here today.”

“I should have known something was amiss, when this morning Oha Asa said that the lucky item for a Leo would be a person born under the Virgo star sign,” murmured Midorima. He had still not quite gotten over his befuddlement towards Aomine and Kagami’s relationship (due to their incompatibility based on traditional astrology and all), but he had since accepted that their case must be one of those outlier cases.

Akashi sipped his tea. “You would think that they’d at least be wise enough to scout out their surroundings before choosing to dine here,” he said.

Kise sighed, slumping back in his seat. “Not the brightest pair, are they?”

Kuroko nonchalantly stirred at his soba. “Would you have expected anything less?”

Murasakibara, who was sitting next to Akashi, simply ate the dessert he had ordered (on Akashi's tab) in silence.

The four MiraGen members plus Kuroko sat at their table silently for the next few seconds, trying to process the sheer comicality of this situation. They ultimately had to conclude that when it came to Aomine and Kagami, two heads were apparently not better than one.

Kise was the one who eventually broke the silence, a whine of frustration escaping his lips. “This is as hilarious as it is frustrating,” he said, twirling his spoon in one hand. “So are we going to tell them?”

Kuroko thought about it. “No. I think it’s more entertaining letting them be.” A glint of amusement flashed across his eyes. “Besides, I’m very much looking forward to Kagami-kun trying to explain his leg injury tomorrow.”


End file.
